How to Avoid Qualifying for a Mortgage: A Cheeky Guide

If the thought of qualifying for a mortgage sends shivers down your spine, fear not! In this cheeky guide, we’ll reveal some unconventional steps you can take to ensure you avoid qualifying for a mortgage. So, sit back, relax, and prepare to chuckle at these daring tactics.

Quit Your Job:

To kickstart your mission of mortgage denial, the first step is as clear as day: quit your job. Mortgage lenders have a knack for avoiding the unemployed, making it an ideal strategy.

Spend All Your Savings:

Want to turbocharge your mortgage disqualification? Empty your bank account! With no savings, you’ll be as far from mortgage eligibility as possible.

Collect as Much Debt as Possible:

For the daring souls, amassing debt is a stellar move. High debt payments mean less money for a mortgage. It’s that simple!

Stop Making Your Debt Payments:

Can’t part with your job or savings? No worries! Just stop paying your bills. Lenders love a track record of non-payment, don’t they?

Provide Ugly Supporting Documentation:

If all else fails, get creative with your documentation. Make your paperwork so cryptic that even the most diligent lender would throw up their hands in frustration.
Now that you’ve mastered the art of mortgage disqualification, it’s time to revel in your newfound freedom from homeownership obligations.


While we’ve had our fun exploring these wild ways to avoid qualifying for a mortgage, if you’re genuinely looking to become a homeowner, follow the reverse playbook. Keep your job, save diligently, manage your debt responsibly, pay your bills on time, and present clear, unaltered documentation to support your mortgage application. If you need guidance along the way, feel free to reach out—we’d be delighted to assist you on your path to homeownership.

Contributed by Sabeena Bubber – reach out to Sabeena for more info here

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